Unless you’re from the 1800’s where pregnancy is a natural thing between the ages of 15-18, I have never met any teenager who planned to have a kid this young. In the 21st century, this is something that just happens unexpectedly, and you have to deal with it; however that may be. In most situations, abortion is the go-to option. The girl can’t raise a kid on her own while still in high school, and most of the time, the guy doesn’t want anything to do with a baby, because it would turn his life upside down in “the worst possible way” for him. Now I’m not saying this is the case in every teenage pregnancy, some girls may have the perfect guy that will be there for her and the baby threw thick and thin.
This isn’t the case in my situation. As you all know by now, I slept with my ex, which means he’s off living his own life and of course wouldn’t want it any other way. So as far he was concerned until I talked to him, his life was going great.
Then, I might as well have slapped him in the face with a baby book.
Working up the courage to tell a guy you’re pregnant (when he’s not your husband & the love of your life), is hard work. Especially for a teenager. You try to plan out the whole situation in your head like you already know what he’ll say and everything that will happen. You want “the talk” to go perfectly. Well you’re wrong. However you think it will end up going, it won’t. Everything will happen completely opposite to what you planned in your head. I myself, had a plan in my head. I was going to talk to my ex in private, show him the ultrasounds, stand there while he got mad and would yell at the universe “why? are you sure? how is this possible??”, and then calmly tell him his options in this situation.
That didn’t happen.
He guessed it. OVER TEXT. I know right? Worst possible way for this type of news to come out, jesus. He could tell something was off that day in class and I refused to tell him because I thought I would try and be mature and have this talk face to face. Well that didn’t happen. He ended up guessing shit and staring at my face until he could tell he guessed right. So I ended up having this huge “I’m pregnant” talk, in my school parking lot…how wonderful. Only having found out a few days prior to me breaking the news to him, I was already 17 weeks along. So not to my surprise, he was shocked. There’s no other words for it, except shocked. He didn’t yell and get mad (like I assumed he would…but we also all know by now that my assumptions are never right), he just stared at me like I was a ghost with a dancing monkey on my head. He just stood there with his mouth hanging open. Until he finally formed words (which were not English by the way). To this day, I still don’t really know what he said/mumbled. He had no idea how to respond to what I had just told him.
So I decided to do all the talking. Given the bad timing and age, and the awkward fact that he was my ex, I told him I was keeping the baby and he could be as involved as he wanted to be. Again, not to my surprise, he immediately said he didn’t want to be involved whatsoever. Some may think this is cowardly of him to say, but I understood it as I was giving him the option. He got accepted to a great University close to his home and his family, and had a plan for his life and job and travelling. I had my own plan that involved moving to a different province, and going to University there. We both had our paths planned out. I’m still making my dream and life happen with a baby; the baby is not stopping me from moving and going to University, it will just require a little more patience and help than I anticipated. But I’m okay with that. So I want the same for him. I truly do want my ex to be happy and pursue his dreams, and if later he decides he wants to be involved, I will let him. In that case though he’s either fully in or fully out. He only gets one leeway girls, we can’t be too nice. But for the meantime, I’m happily giving him the choice because it is such shocking news that really does change everything. It’s a huge responsibility, but it’s something I know I can do, with or without a man by my side.
For any of you girls in the same situation as me, at least with the part of the guy not wanting to be involved, I want you all to know that you can do this. We are smart, mature, and independent and we don’t need a man by our side to help us accomplish what seems like the impossible curveballs life throws at us. All we have to do is have confidence in ourselves and know that we will get through this and come out the other end stronger than ever. There is nothing in this world that is stopping us from being amazing mothers, so control your fears, build your self-esteem, radiate positivity, and the world will be yours.
(P.S- Kevin Hart is not the father of my child for any of those wondering.)